In His Time

God makes all things new in His perfect timing. I know this. I've said this over and over in my walk as a Christian. It is a foundational truth of the Bible. Lately, I have been rushing God though instead of resting in His peace and timing. I am fundamentally flawed, selfish and want our life back. Did I say that? Yes...

It's been 8 months since our life was upended and frankly, I'm tired. This journey has been an emotional roller coaster for all of us. We have that one last angiogram looming over us. I really wanted to stomp my foot like my five year old yesterday when the angiogram was post-poned a week. "God.... I really wanted to spend Thanksgiving thanking you for David's healing". Ugh! I am so selfish! How could I react with disappointment knowing how precisely God has managed David's healing?

Behold, I make all things new.--Revelations 21:5 God, I want the new- now! But the truth is I want our life back the way it was. Will it be calmer, hopefully. But God has made us all new. We understand our interdependence on one another; just as we have interdependence on the community of Christ. Yes, David is healing and continuing to make progress. Truly he is 100% better than he was in April. It amazing how David's health affects everything in our family. God truly has designed the roles of fathers in His infinite wisdom. I am no substitute for a Godly strong father. Out of necessity I have had to be disciplinarian during this time. This is not the way God designed a family to operate. Don't get me wrong, I am a strong, strict disciplinarian but I am not strong like my husband. He provides a quiet, calm, unwavering God given strength. He is the rock in our family. I am thankful beyond measure that God spared him for I am not adequate. I need him. My kids need him.

I saw the end of the line and started sprinting. I lost focus on God's truth. Just when I thought I couldn't make it one more day without Dr. Morsi giving us an all clear.... God says, "wait". God is reminding me to let go that He is still in control. To live my life waiting on Him.... that is the goal.

Do not worry about anything; instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done.--Phillipians 4:6

Faith

The Lord is good, a Strength and Stronghold in the day of trouble; He knows those who take refuge and trust in Him.--Nahum 1:7 April 1st, 2010 was the beginning of "our day of trouble." My husband and our precious daddy was at first diagnosed with two torn carotid arteries and Horner's Syndrome. He had years of migraine headaches with increasing frequency over the previous six months. We were surprised to hear that he had torn arteries and even more surprised that the doctors recommended treatment was Plavix and rest. God, our Jehovah Rapha, had different plans.

As we drove up to our house from receiving this news, our neighbor who is an MD, told us to take David to the ER immediately; as did the two doctors in our family and David's personal physician. We began to feel the gravity of the situation and David asked me to call our friends to get the number of the cardiologist they see in Houston. We left for the hospital and as we walked through the ER doors my friend called back with the cell phone number for the chief physician of the Texas Heart Institute in Houston.

Our doctor was baffled that David had "TWO" torn carotid arteries. He was not comfortable recommending treatment. The two specialist he talked with at hospital had conflicting opinions for treatment. We were reeling from the commotion and news that no one clearly knew what to do. With no other options David asked our doctor to call the specialist in Houston. With one phone call David was placed in the best, most capable hands for receiving treatment. Needless to say Dr. Frazier gave specific instructions on how to treat David through the night until he could be transferred to St Luke's Hospital the following day.

Dr. Morsi, "the best " Neuro Radiologist according to Dr. Frazier would perform David's angiogram. Before the angiogram Dr. Morsi told us David had a 60% of his left artery needing a stint because it was larger than the tear on the right. To clarify, David entered surgery thinking he "might" need one stint on his left carotid artery to strengthen the artery wall. We were prayerful, concerned and at the same time knew that God had directed David's path to this very capable and specialized doctor.

After 45 minutes of waiting they called me and David's parents back into the surgery area. Several doctors gathered around the computer screens full of black and white squiggly lines that made no sense to me at all. We were told that David two torn carotid arteries, plus a torn veterbral artery and an aneurism on the right side of his brain.

My world froze as I digested what Dr. Morsi told me. I needed to consent on what steps the medical team would take next. Thoughts don't come to my mind when I look back. Just images, stillness, and black. David's right carotid had to be stinted to fix the aneurysm. However, in my mind this left the larger tear untreated. Stinting both carotids and the veterbral was not an option. If anything went wrong with the stints he would have no blood supply to his brain. The team of doctors decided to stint the right carotid with the recommendation of another angiogram in 6 weeks to see how the left side was healing. He would be on medical leave for 8 weeks and strict physical limitations during that time.

We all talk about prayer, the power of prayer and God working in our lives. We truly believe the power of prayer placed David with the right doctors in the right place at the right time. The timing and accuracy of what occurred leaves no room for doubt in our minds. Just as with the adoption of our children, God's hand was moving and more was visible than the invisible in every facet of our lives. I know that the prayers of our family, friends and many that we do not even know sustained me and kept me going when we hit a brick wall.

Prayers sustained me when I had to tell my high school sweetheart that he had an aneurysm and three stints on his right carotid artery and that we would have to come back in six weeks to repeat the angiogram to check on the left & veterbral arteries. This was hard to explain and hard accept since all of his pain was on the left side of his head and eye socket. He desperately wanted to be out of pain and migraine free. There were many unknowns the first hours and days after his surgery. God carried us through those unknowns with the knowledge that he had carried us through many trials before.

We spent five days in a hospital. Day 1 was April Fool's Day. Day 5 was Easter Sunday. Tell me there is not a God who loves us, cares for us and makes a mockery of those who doubt. Faith is not faith when it's easy, fun and you have all the answers. Faith is being absolutely sure of what you do not see. Faith is when life has blacked out and Jesus Christ is leading you through the darkness because He has gone before you. "In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world"... John 16:33. Faith is when you know that no matter what happens... life, death, or something in between... you will be held in God's hands. Faith is knowing that life is not always fair, good, or easy, but God will sustain you and give you peace in the midst of battle. He provides! Faith is Hebrews Chapter 11. Beginning in verse 1, "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." I love reading stories about ancient's faith. "This is what the ancients were commended for"...verse 2.

Oswald Chambers beautifully sums up our journey, "God does not give us overcoming life: He gives us life as we overcome. The strain is the strength. If there is no strain, there is no strength. Are you asking God to give you life and liberty and joy? He cannot, unless you will accept the strain. Immediately you face the strain, you will get the strength. Overcome your own timidity and take the step, and God will give you to eat of the tree of life and you will get nourishment."